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New Year! Time to CELEBRATE?

January 5, 2012 in Celebrate!, Life

boost your esteem by Liz


YOU DID IT! You made it through another year! CONGRATS!!!

Take a bow….. (no really, get up and take a bow. Do it. I’lll wait.)

I’d like to start out by asking you all a question, a non ‘I married into the restaurant industry’ question. (If I may…)

How do you CELEBRATE when life brings you something yummy?

Celebrate? WHAT? What’s that? I don’t have time to celebrate!

If any of the answers above sound familiar… you’re not alone.

With all the buzz of New Years Eve just behind us… the topic of how we celebrate has come up and I decided what better time to discuss celebration and it’s effects to our overall health and happiness.   

SO many of us work SO hard to ‘BE’ the person we think we should be, who our parents want us to be, our restaurant man/woman… even our society, that I am not sure we are even in touch with what it means to celebrate. We work on our goals, and when the new year comes around again, we set up new goals (or revive old ones) in an effort to keep achieving.

But what about celebrating?

The dictionary defines ‘to Celebrate’= to proclaim, to make known publicly, to praise widely or to present to widespread and favorable public notice…. AN UNINHIBITED GOOD TIME.

As your unofficial coach, It doesn’t feel right to put parameters on what celebrating looks like, or a list of what you should or shouldn’t do when celebrating.

I purely want to bring the topic to the surface.

I always ask my clients “How do you celebrate that?”… and inevitably, the answer usually stumps them.

It’s actually become an important part of my practice.

We don’t know HOW to celebrate, or more importantly…What it even looks like when we decide we want to.

A little bit, if you don’t already know about me. My birthday is on New Years Eve. I LOVE my birthday and I’ve just realized why.

It’s one of a handful of days when we give ourselves PERMISSION to celebrate.

*Okay, there are plenty of those out there who are anti-New Years Eve, who take a more “It’s just another day” kinda stance and for that I TOTALLY respect you.

But for me.. I LOVE the energy buzzing around me all day, people are getting ready to get dressed up, have people over, or settle in for a night at home. Either way… there is this electricity in the air that I love. *On top of the multiple happy birthday phone calls, texts, emails and Facebook messages that I receive that just keeps the energy flowing…

I’ve been to Times Square for New Years Eve. My 20th and my 21st birthday. The only way to define it is ELECTRIFYING. All these people, in such a small space, with one aim…

… to RING IN the new year.

Talk about celebration!

But what about the everyday reasons to celebrate?

What about celebrating just for the sake of celebrating?

How do we even begin to wrap our heads around HOW to celebrate?

It’s something I’ve been giving a LOT of thought too this past year, I want to share with you my OWN thoughts on why we have trouble celebrating and how to begin reframing the way we think about it.  

Myth: We think that celebrating occurs only on special occasions. (Think New Years Eve or your birthday)
Thought: We’re worried about what everyone ELSE would think of us, that what if we celebrated with more regularity… “‘They’ll’ think I’m weird if I celebrate.” So we’ve built in these occasions that we don’t have to worry about that so much, so we can ‘let down our hair’… to appear “normal” (a word I detest!) BUT…What if celebrations were a part of ALL of our everyday lives? How would that change things if we KNEW everyone was doing it?

Myth: Celebrating means doing something BIG and over the top (Think Times Square in NYC or a HUGE themed birthday party), or LOTS of investment (time, energy… money?).
Thought: What if celebrating only took 3 seconds. No really… 3 seconds, and NOONE else knew you were celebrating but YOU. Keep reading.

Myth: You only celebrate once you reach your goals. (BIG ONE… most of us feel this way about celebrating)
Thought: How would it change things if we thought of celebrating WHILE reaching our goals is like stopping for a break of water while running a race? Would we feel like we could give ourselves permission then? If it was something necessary for us to even reach our goal?

Myth:  Only selfish (or rich) people constantly celebrate.
Thought: Again, it’s about permission. If I were rich or self-absorbed… then it would be OKAY for me to celebrate. (A “Shoot, if I was rich and all my “problems” were gone, I’d FINALLY have a reason to celebrate!” mentality. – sound familiar?) What if we dared ourselves to think that WE TOO, deserve to celebrate too!?

Myth:  Celebrating doesn’t change the situation I’m in.
Thought: Okay… but what if it TEMPORARILY gives you RELIEF from your situation? Would it be okay then?  and even before that (here comes a virtual slap… you ready?)

What evidence do you have that it won’t change your situation?

Most likely… you don’t have any evidence. 

What if you gave it a try, a REAL hearty try for a week and see if you can find some evidence? 

*Consider this your New Years Resolution. Hey, at least I’m not asking you to take anything away, like on a diet. I’m asking you to ADD to your life, something that MIGHT (you do not currently know) change your whole day. (Basically… I double dog dare ya.)

Okay, Okay… I give! I’ll try it for a week if you’ll give me some ideas on how to celebrate.

I thought you’d never ask! Now comes the fun part!!! Here are just a handful of PRACTICAL ideas (for me, they gotta be practical, easy to do things in order for me to make them a new habit) to consider… AND… I’ll make them only 3 seconds long and if chosen, YOU will be the only one who knows you’re celebrating.


  • Every morning, after taking that first sip of coffee, tea, Diet Coke, etc… close your eyes and look up… SAY out loud (or in your head)….BLISS.
  • When you get an email/text/FB message from a friend (or someone you are excited to hear from) – SAY out loud or in your head… I’M IMPORTANT!!!
  • If you realize you’re having a good hair day, or our outfit looks good – look in the mirror and pretend, for 3 seconds.. that a photographer is taking a few pics of you…  SMILE FOR THE CAMERA!
  • When 5 o’clock hits and you’re shutting off your 9-5 computer…. pretend you’re at the end of a performance and, in front of your computer…. TAKE A BOW!!
  • When you hear something ANYTHING that makes you happy – do one of three things: 1. say AMEN!! 2. Do a twirl 3. put your hands in the air and say YEA!
  • Stop what you’re doing, for 3 seconds, look at something that makes you happy and SMILE.
  • After yet ANOTHER day of handling SO much; taking care of the kiddos, the 9-5, running to the grocery, hitting the gym, paying the bills, patience with the restaurant man/woman… for 3 seconds say WHATEVER comes to your mind… with conviction… with PRIDE!  *Yes, even if it’s F^&K!!! My recommendations are : I DID IT! I ROCK! ONE DAY DOWN! I CAN HANDLE ANYTHING!!!
  • Before going to bed, straighten all the sheets and blankets out before you get into it. Then Jump in!

Finally, celebrating isn’t about having a BIG moment. For my birthday, everyone asked me how I’m celebrating. I went out to lunch with one girlfriend, a movie with another girlfriend and then head home for an evening with myself (as most of you also were solo that night too), my kitty girl, and the energy that my friends and family are thinking of me today, that so many people ARE giving themselves permission to celebrate, and that I have so much to be grateful for. THAT ALONE.. filled me up with a sense of peaceful energy that actually being in Time Square could match. CELEBRATION.

So let me ask you….

How willing are you to give yourself permission to celebrate more in your everyday life?

It’s OKAY… (the Christmas edition)

November 28, 2011 in Life

christmas lights

christmas lights by lavandarfields


I don’t know about you, but at this time of the year…

 I always feel a little frazzled. – Finding the ‘right’ gifts… finding the time (and energy) to put up a tree/decorate… coordinate holiday schedule (when is the husband working?) …head to the mall/browsing online. (yuck)

I feel a little overwhelmed.  – Gifts = Money and I would prefer to save it. The husband…. not so much.

I feel a little isolated. – It’s dark by 5pm. Going home to an empty AND dark house makes me feel a little closed off from the world.

All in all, at this time of year I end up feeling a litle sad. 

I thought instead of keeping these feelings to myself, I’d share them with you. I figure there has to be a few of you feeling the same way, right?

It hit me…. instead of fighting it, or thinking “What’s WRONG with me?”, feeling the way I do, why not give myself PERMISSION to feel these things.

Most of the time, the fact that we can’t seem to stop these spinning thoughts USUALLY comes from a place that we think there HAS to be something “WRONG” with us.

What if there is nothing wrong?

Here are a list of things that I want to give myself permision to be OKAY with… If you want to join in, feel free to leave a comment, if not, hope you enjoy mine.


  • It’s OKAY to have no energy at the end of another boring day at the 9-5 to even THINK of doing anything Christmas-y.
  • It’s OKAY to not want to cook after work, instead to have a bowl of cereal in front of the TV and catch up on my TV shows. *maybe Frosty the Snowman?
  • It’s OKAY to not want to spend hundreds of dollars on Christmas gifts.  Doesn’t mean you don’t care.
  • It’s OKAY to be happy that for the first year in… FOREVER, you won’t have to travel for Christmas. Doesn’t mean you’re selfish.
  • It’s OKAY that you start bawling in the car when you hear “The Christmas Shoes” song on the radio, after knowing you’ve heard it so many times before. *Actually, most Christmas songs make you weapy, know it’s OKAY to let those tears flow.
  • It’s also OKAY to sing REALLY LOUD in the car to all your favorite Christmas songs.
  • It’s OKAY to be upset that your other half is working late when he/should be helping you wrap these dang gifts!
  • It’s OKAY to WANT to send out Christmas cards… and not actually get to it.
  • It’s OKAY to procrastinate on buying christmas gifts. You know you’ll get it done. Go easy on yourself.
  • It’s OKAY that you want the house to magically decorate itself. *Unfortunately it won’t get done without you.
  • It’s OKAY to be a bit more of a NAG this time of year in order to get said house decorated. I mean, you can’t DO everything yourself, can you?
  • It’s OKAY to ask your husband if he’ll bring something home from the restaurant so you can have something for lunch the next day.
  • It’s OKAY to buy the hershey kisses with the Christmas colors to put out when your guests come. *And why not a few (handfuls) for you too?
  • It’s OKAY to be pissed that your house doesn’t look like the pictures in Pottery Barn with all the Christmas decorations *I mean, come on!
  • It’s OKAY that although you feel the Christmas spirit, you aren’t regularly going to a spiritual service.
  • It’s OKAY to not want to stay out late when you’re invited to Christmas shin digs (OR, not even going to them at all, It’s OKAY.)
  • It’s OKAY if you can’t come up with THEE PERFECT GIFT and decide to give them a gift card. *This way they can get what they really like!
  • It’s OKAY that you will forget you are watching what you’re eating when you see all the delicious christmas cookies.
  • It’s OKAY to miss the days when you and your sister woke up at Grandmas house and you believed Santa was real. *SPOILER ALERT.
  • It’s OKAY to be PISSED OFF at yourself that you waited until the last minute and you had to park WAY OUT THERE in the parking lot. *You really did know better. Oh well.


…and some personal things to remind yourself to be OKAY with.

  • It’s OKAY to be sad that you wish you were closer with your parents.
  • It’s OKAY that another year went by and you still have those goals you didn’t yet accomplish.
  • It’s OKAY that the holidays means you’re a year older (Birthday on New Years Eve) and still feel like you haven’t yet made your dreams come true.
  • It’s OKAY that you miss your 20’s when you didn’t know what you didn’t know.
  • It’s OKAY that you see gray hairs in the mirror.
  • It’s OKAY to have that “I’m not where I thought I would be by now” feeling. *So many others at your age are feeling the same thing. You’re not the only one.
  • It’s OKAY to be at the beginning of a new chapter of your life. *Better late than never, right?
  • *Big one* It’s OKAY that you totally let yourself go with regards to your health and spirituality. Please forgive yourself about that.
  • It’s OKAY to be emotional that you’re still not pregnant. Especially at this time of year, when that’s ALL you want for Christmas.


Thank you for letting me share that with you. Hopefully some of them made you feel better too.

I know I do.