Married to a Chef

From Jen at Bits of Truth

Might not seem like it, in the moment – when we’re reacting out of learned behavior or external circumstances.. but everything we do is a declaration of the choices we make.

How does that feel to hear? Our guess, it’s either something we resist all together, or at best, fidgety in our chairs ,uncomfortable with that knowing.

Being with someone in the restaurant industry – is a choice, right? Somewhere (whether your aware of it or not) it works for you. *Here’s a secret: Even if the relationship doesn’t work but you find yourself still in it.. the choice to stay is yours because it somehow works for you.

I mean, we could make a different decision at any moment, yes? As easy as changing our mind when selecting what flavor of ice cream goes on top of our cone? Then WHY do we continually feel like we don’t have a choice? We say it all the time… ‘I don’t have a choice’.

The answer to that question, if we were really willing to look, houses a LOT of information.

Maybe our feeling of not having a choice has to do with something external. ‘I stay because if we broke up I would have no place to live.” or, “we bought a house together”.. even the WAY more emotional and challenging “we are married and exchanged vows” or even tougher ” we have children together”. Yes, they equally can (and usually do) cause some of us to wait WAY longer than we have to to make a different choice. We choose to make (or not make these decisions) kinda like if we we’re driving up to a toll booth. Waiting for something or someone to be there to ALLOW us to pass, if only the “right” circumstances were there.

Maybe that feeling is something internal and WAY more rooted in what we came from (aka ‘we are the sum of our experiences’/our upbringing,etc…) the “but i love him/her/insert object of ones affection here” which most likely has had us all stuck at some period of time or another. This one is emotionally connected to past experiences like a spider web. One long string, interwoven and designed to trap us where we are.

How would you feel if, instead of seeing these being reasons to stay in your current choice, they were seen as an obstacle to work around. Picture yourself, driving down the road and in front of you, you see a cardboard box. Would you stop your journey? I predict no, you would drive around it. Where did we lose that sense of finding a work around? (which usually involves looking at what’s getting in your way in the first place)

Tell us, how can you look at the CHOICES of your current life that might be causing you frustration, as obstacles to work around instead of destined to keep you stuck where you are? What if you began learning how to give yourself PERMISSION to consider another choice. How would that feel?

Whether you decide to make a different choice is totally in your hands. We are here to show you that YOU, at any time, have the freedom to make any number of choices. Just a matter of deciding where you want to go.

Maybe your mom and dad said you can be whatever you want to be when you grow up, maybe they didn’t. But we’ve all heard this said in some way, shape or form. What does it take to be whatever we want to be? It takes realizing we ALWAYS have a choice. always.