Married to a Chef

Today I have a DELICIOUS treat for you!!! I recently asked Krista Morgan of The Not So Desparate Chef Wife a handful of questions around when she knew she had what it took to thrive in her restaurant relationship. Most likely, you are already familiar with Kristas blog and how she documents not only life with her chef but her own creations in the kitchen! (Admittedly I’m a little jealous as I’m not a foodie or much of a cook)

A little more about Krista and her chef, Nate, in her own words:

Nate and I were both born and raised in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. I went to school for a Bachelor of Science in Horticulture Science / Landscape Design, and Nate went to culinary school for an Associate Culinary Arts and a bachelor in Food Service Management.  We currently live in the Raleigh, NC area and I work for a local plant nursery called, Plant Delights.  Nate is a sous chef at The Pit Authentic Barbeque.  You can read about some of our day to day lives…or meals…on my blog.

It is my goal to share others experiences as a way of understanding that while we might be in different situations, different stages of The Evolution in our restaurant relationships, that there are common bonds that unite us. By hearing how others did it, we will realize that we TOO have what it takes to make it in this both rewarding and challenging atypical relationship! Thank you Krista for sharing with us your experiences.

What was the moment you knew you had what it took to thrive in your restaurant relationship? Was there a moment? A situation? Did you have an A HA moment?  

A. My husband and I have known each other since 8th grade and started dating our senior year of high school.  It wasn’t until we were both in college that the restaurant life was even a possibility.  So really, we’ve been on this ride together from the beginning, and learned the industry together. 

It was pretty much smooth sailing until we got married.  Not really sure what changed, but I found myself having to adapt to our life.  I’m not sure if I knew, what was a part of the normal newly-wed challenges vs. being married to a chef.  I finally realized no couple has the perfect schedule; you just have to deal with things as they come.  Even couples with “normal” work schedules have to work at spending time together.  On the bright side, at least I have my chef home safe on American soil.  Yea, he could chop a finger off, but he’s not risking his life everyday. 

One MAJOR thing we have in common is we both love to…EAT.  I’m sure we’d be considered adventurous eaters because of all the different animals and parts we’ve eaten.  My limit used to be animal testicles until Nate sought revenge on me one April Fools (after he plastic wrapped my car) and tricked me into eating a fried rabbit ball.  Tasted great, texture…not my thing! What was he getting me back for?  See photo below.

Once you realized you had what it took, what changed for you? In your life and in your relationship?

A. There was no real moment that I realized I had what it took or ever thought that I didn’t.  If anything, it’s made us closer because it seems like no one else around us “gets it”.  Nate loves what he does, I love what I do, we love to hang out with each other in between, and that is all that matters.  We actually consider ourselves to be very lucky, because we both have jobs that we truly enjoy.  Now, when we throw babies into the mix, who knows what will happen!

Finally, how can you help others realize they have what it takes as well (OR, how can you help someone if they realize this isn’t for them)

A. Hmm…this is a tough one because every relationship and every person is so different.  But I would say, if your friends would describe you as “high maintenance” the restaurant life probably isn’t for you.  If you like to plan ahead, just get out now.  Planning ahead goes out the window if you work in a restaurant or are married to a chef.  If you are a picky eater, again, just forget it.  Being able to adapt and adjust to new schedules and crazy hours is a key.  If you’re the type of person who can easily go with the flow and not got all bent out of shape over the small stuff, go for it!  And if you are independent and can entertain yourself, you’re golden!! Oh, and you must have some great, fun girl friends that you can go out and have an awesome time with!

If you don’t trust the person you’re with, no matter what their career path is, END IT.  With out trust, you don’t have anything and that is no way to live.  I can’t tell you how many gray hairs have been spared on my head because I trust my husband.  We went to different colleges 2.5 hours away and saw each other every other weekend, and the time between we always had trust.  Real trust.  Not the trust that you’re going to call every hour on the hour to check in, but you can go out with your friends and it doesn’t even matter.  Trust that while your significant other is working long late hours at the restaurant, you don’t have to worry that they are cheating on you.  There is always going to be that cute skanky waitress prancing around, you have to be able to ignore that.

Bottom line.  Life is too short to spend it whining and fighting.  You should be wining and dining!  Enjoy your self, enjoy your relationship, enjoy the time you get to spend together.

Nate and Krista