Art of Relaxing

June 29, 2011 in Expectations, Life, Weekend

365: May 25, 2009 by Jessi Hagood


With the 4th of July coming up this weekend, I thought we’d talk about something I’m sure plenty of you deal with (or don’t know how to deal with, is more like it). How to relax.

It’s no surprise to find most of you are the primary do-ers in your relationships. You are the one that makes most things happen. Making plans, coordinating, cleaning, and preparing for whatever and who evers is coming over this holiday weekend. Most likely, what you and your family have planned this weekend will mostly be managed by you. Even if you’re traveling out of town, the coordination most likely goes through your hands. Okay, your restaurant man or woman might want to set the menu for the cookout/BBQ/shin dig that you’re having, but the rest of the details have your name on it. (especially the cleaning up AFTER their rampage into all the pots and pans in the house! Right?)

The 4th of July and many other so called ‘holidays’ are usually just reasons to be stressed out while everyone else relaxes. No wonder why we feel exhausted at the end of our long weekend, we need a vacation from our vacation!

Especially for us ladies, we want to make sure everyone ELSE is having a good time so most of the time we take on way too much so we know it’s all taken care of. Sometimes it’s because we’re neat freaks, Type A personalities that just has to have her hands in everything or bottom line “who else is going to take care of this?”.  Maybe it’s because that’s how some of us were raised, the residual role women took with the house and gatherings…leaving the men to the title of grill master (ESPECIALLY if your Restaurant Man/Woman wants to do all the cooking!) and taking out the trash. (Sounds like a throwback to the 50’s but there are many 20s and 30 somethings that are challenging this belief today, I’d like to believe that has somewhat evolved into sharing more of the load) perhaps? (not?)

Anywho… with the holiday steadily upon us, I wanted to share three ways you might bring some ease and relaxation into your plans this weekend. Allowing you to look back with a sense of peace instead of frustration.There is a reason why they call it the ART of Relaxing… it’s an art to find ways in which relaxing becomes incorporated in your celebrating.

  1. Create a game plan – You might be the unofficial coordinator, but you could be like the coach who directs his team to make that touchdown. The Goal is to have plenty of relaxing with your guests WITH them. The mission is to delegate as many tasks to your team so that it’s evenly dispersed. Think of the tasks that would be finished with four (or six) hands instead of two. With efficient delegating, you might be surprised that the dishes are in the dishwasher AS you clean instead of piled up after the festivities are over. (If there are younger children, you could make it a game where they can be your assistant. And if they help shuck all the corn, etc.. they can get the first piece of pie.)
  2. Tell your guests your goal (to relax)/Ask for help – Maybe it’s not your nature to relax until it’s ALL over. It’s that way for a lot of us. Enlist your family in your mission to take it easy, ask them to remind you of what your goal is so you can take advantage of the valuable time spend with your family and friends. Sometimes all it takes is a gentle reminder to create some great memories. You could make it into a game where they hand you your glass of wine every time they see you busy doing something.
  3. It will be there later, Enjoy the NOW – Yes, you might want to make sure everything is done before you sit down, a make sure  the leftovers are put away, dishes are done before you sit down. (Very common for most of us) It is usually those moments after a meal that are the most gratifying, being thankful for being together, sitting on the back porch watching the sunset, watching the kids light sparklers or taking a dip in the pool with the family. Start telling yourself NOW that it will all get done, tell yourself  now that you give yourself permission to leave it there, that your goal is to have that one moment when you realize you are relaxed, and feeling like all your cares are somewhere else, even for a few minutes or hours and be present in your search for that moment, as you go thru your day.Which one do you think would work best for you? Share with us your thoughts on how you’d like to be more relaxed this holiday weekend.

    Whatever you do, remember you deserve to feel just as comforted, as ‘taken care of’ as your guests INEVITABLY feel during their visit. That while it is your house, your gathering that everyone is enjoying, that YOU have the same reason for being there as everyone else… to RELAX.

    Happy 4th of July Holiday! Here’s to the Art of Relaxing!

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